Saturday, June 27, 2009 <<Same Date, Time now 10.11am
He Knew.
Yes He really did know.
Years ago Michael and I were having a deep conversation about life in general.
You were in a general conversation talking about anything and everything.
I can't recall the exact subject matter but he may have been questioning me about the circumstances of my Fathers Death.
Michael was asking you as he needed confirmation for himself as he was alone in this world knowing he too was an old soul or maybe he really did not know he was an old soul and he just did what was natural to him.
Lisa I feel Michael is helping me write this, so please be patient.
At some point he paused, he stared at me very intensely and he stated with an almost calm certainty, "I am afraid that I am going to end up like him, the way he did."
Lisa he was calm because he really did know what his destiny was and he was not afraid as from what I have read by many people who know this are calm and relaxed when speaking about it.
I promptly tried to deter him from the idea, at which point he just shrugged his shoulders and nodded almost matter of fact as if to let me know, he knew what he knew and that was kind of that.
You loved him and that is why you tried to deter him, but it was meant to happen this way, but you did not know this at the time.
Lisa he did know and he also knew that it cannot be changed once you are told.
He just did not know the time frame as to when it was going to happen, that is gods decision and only he knows when.
14 years later I am sitting here watching on the news an ambulance leaves the driveway of his home, the big gates, the crowds outside the gates, the coverage, the crowds outside the hospital, the Cause of death and what may have led up to it and the memory of this conversation hit me, as did the unstoppable tears.
This was a repeat of your father and you relived hurt and pain all over again.
I am sorry you had to feel this once again.
A predicted ending by him, by loved ones and by me, but what I didn't predict was how much it was going to hurt when it finally happened.
Yes he did predict this.
Lisa this was not really his choice as in him knowing exactly what he was going to do,
I do not feel he did this on purpose.
He was not meant to know and or maybe he wasn't to change destiny.
Lisa you and his loved ones can not change what is already written.
Very few get to change destiny,
I was a lucky one but I still do not know the outcome as yet, it could have been my down fall, who knows yet.
Lisa you and his family did everything you and they could possibly do for Michael, so please don't tear yourselves down because you and they think or feel you or they failed him when you did not.
You know what; he knows just who loved him and just how much you all tried to help him.
The person I failed to help is being transferred right now to the LA County Coroners office for his Autopsy.
Lisa as much as you don't see this right now but guess what…YOU DID NOT FAIL HIM.
All of my indifference and detachment that I worked so hard to achieve over the years has just gone into the bowels of hell and right now I am gutted.
Lisa Michael has gone to heaven, god has told him it was time.
Michael really was not well; as much as he tried to please everyone he knew he was sick and couldn't cope.
That's why all the medications.
I am going to say now what I have never said before because I want the truth out there for once.
Our relationship was not "a sham" as is being reported in the press. It was an unusual relationship yes, where two unusual people who did not live or know a "Normal life" found a connection, perhaps with some suspect timing on his part. Nonetheless, I do believe he loved me as much as he could love anyone and I loved him very much.
Lisa you and Michael had a UNIQUE relationship that only UNIQUE people can understand and you know what, you don't need to explain to them, they are full of negatives and are blinded by evil thoughts aka badfeeds.
Lisa I want you to watch over the interviews with you and Michael and see if you can see what I see and what I can feel, I can feel his love for you.
Watch his eyes when he is asked a question about you and when he looks at you, as I did.
Watch his expressions towards YOU when he is asked a question about you, as I did.
Watch his smile when he speaks of you and looks at you when he is asked a question about you.
Watch the excitement in his expressions he had when it was mentioned that you sing with Michael, he was excited for you to do that
And Lisa that is never to late to do either, maybe think about doing this, I KNOW IT WOULD MAKE MICHAEL HAPPY.
Listen closely to his voice of how he speaks when he speaks of YOU lisa.
If people cannot see or feel what I see then they are blind and full of badfeeds.
I wanted to "save him" I wanted to save him from the inevitable which is what has just happened.
Lisa as much as you wanted to save him, IF it was meant to be only he could of done that.
And only god can change things, if you were to be successful god or the higher beings would of helped you, but your actions show so much more as I will point out as I write.
Please don't tear yourself down because YOU think you failed him, how wrong you are and I will tell you as I write.
His family and his loved ones also wanted to save him from this as well but didn't know how and this was 14 years ago.
We all worried that this would be the outcome then.
To Lisa, Michaels family and loved ones, His Loyal and loving fans,
read what I wrote above for Lisa
just apply it to you,
I may be wrong and I may be right,
Only Michael and god could have saved him, it was not meant to be, his time was to go with god and not be suffering or in pain anymore.
Michael is happy.
You all did the right things, but you just did not know it at the time that what ever you did for him was the right thing to do at the time and circumstance.
He gave you 14 years warning to enjoy the time you have with him, not many people can do that Lisa, so please don't be hard on yourself, remember and hold onto that time.
To anyone else who knew of this 14 years ago, smile because you have achieved and enjoyed the time with him.
That goes for all his loving and loyal fans.
At that time, In trying to save him, I almost lost myself.
He was an incredibly dynamic force and power that was not to be underestimated.
Yes Michael did have power that know one knew about.
When he used it for something good, It was the best and when he used it for something bad, It was really, REALLY bad.
Mediocrity was not a concept that would even for a second enter Michael Jackson's being or actions.
I became very ill and emotionally/ spiritually exhausted in my quest to save him from certain self-destructive behavior and from the awful vampires and leeches he would always manage to magnetize around him.
Lisa first of all I am really sorry, you became ill but there was a reason and soon you will see it.
Lisa I asume many people know how ill you became.
You were to experience all of this for a reason, but what reason only you will discover when the time is right.
Maybe this is the right time now; maybe it will come from my writing to you, only YOU will know this.
You will know by getting chills of confirmation, it will come from something either you read or I wrote or even from what someone else wrote and or said, so please listen and remember the chills.
The fact that you did do all of that and that others know of everything you tried to do for him and what you put yourself through to try and help him shows ALL THE LOVE YOU HAVE FOR HIM.
Lisa I can say that as I have been in the exact situation as you and only people who have actually been there really truly knows.
Lisa from this sentence >>>
I became very ill and emotionally/ spiritually exhausted in my quest to save him from certain self-destructive behavior and from the awful vampires and leeches he would always manage to magnetize around him.
I knew straight away he was an old soul and then I realised why I was searching so much yesterday and then I found myself defending him, all of this reminded me of me and what I went through, he was an old soul.
Lisa I can feel my heart/ my soul within me really hurting and heavy right now as I think I am what is called, hitting the nail on the head.
Some people are magnets to badfeeds is what I call them and I am told that it is written in the bible somewhere, and no I have never read the bible as I know this from my messengers.
I don't believe he self destructed, he achieved many things and I will do some research to point out the things he did.
I was in over my head while trying.
I had my children to care for, I had to make a decision.
Lisa you made the right decision as Michaels destiny was already set and so was yours, that was to care for you and your children.
The hardest decision I have ever had to make, which was to walk away and let his fate have him, even though I desperately loved him and tried to stop or reverse it somehow.
Lisa it was the right decision, even though you don't feel it right now or even believe it, but in time you will see it.
Lisa, Michael knew where he was heading, please don't be so hard on yourself and or him.
You know how you try and try things and it just won't work, this is the same, it was meant to be.
I have learnt to try some things and if really is not going to work then I had to walk away, then I realise after I did in fact walk away, it was not meant to be that way or I was not meant to do it, this applies to you and Michael as well.
After the Divorce, I spent a few years obsessing about him and what I could have done different, in regret.
Lisa you could not have done anything different that you already did.
Please don't regret.
Hold your head up high and proud to know that by your actions YOU showed the most important person in the world to you and to him(Michael) that you loved Michael Jackson with all your heart and soul and guess what girl, he knows it.
Then I spent some angry years at the whole situation.
At some point, I truly became Indifferent, until now.
As I sit here overwhelmed with sadness, reflection and confusion at what was my biggest failure to date, watching on the news almost play by play The exact Scenario I saw happen on August 16th, 1977 happening again right now with Michael (A sight I never wanted to see again) just as he predicted, I am truly, truly gutted.
Well Lisa this was not a failure, you succeeded in many things you just don't know it as yet or even realise it until I sent this to you.
So I do hope I have pointed out some good positives to help YOU, His Family,His Loved Ones and His Fans.
Any ill experience or words I have felt towards him in the past has just died inside of me along with him.
Lisa you did not know what I know or what he knew, being an old soul is really like living in a different world and to other people we the old souls are the freaks, the un normal.
He was an amazing person and I am lucky to have gotten as close to him as I did and to have had the many experiences and years that we had together.
Yes he was an amazing and a UNIQUE person and yes you are so very lucky to have lived a life with him, not many had that chance to achieve. But you did.
Hold those thoughts Lisa, don't everrrrr let them go, you and him had wonderful and sad experiences but even the fights or the sad times are lessons learnt about him and about what makes him Michael.
Lisa, think about all the things you know about him as the real Michael Jackson.
No one else has that, but hey, YOU DO.
I desperately hope that he can be relieved from his pain, pressure and turmoil now.
Lisa I can tell you he has no more pain and hurt, he is free of it now.
Please know that he is in a happier place now, he is at peace.
He deserves to be free from all of that and I hope he is in a better place or will be.
He does deserve to be free from it all and he is right now as we speak.
I also hope that anyone else who feels they have failed to help him can be set free because he hopefully finally is.
If people read this then hopefully they are listening and open to it.
He is free Lisa
The World is in shock but somehow he knew exactly how his fate would be played out some day more than anyone else knew, and he was right.
The world is in shock right now, but he knew from the messengers from above and within, the exact title I do not know what to write as I don't know myself but yes he knew as I know things.
If people only learn to listen.
I really needed to say this right now, thanks for listening.
~LMP
Lisa, I wrote the above in the hope to help you and many others alike.
I started to read your myspace comments and there was one I read which was totally wrong and negative, and at that point I knew I had to close out as I would be reading other peoples words and not what is in my mind right now.
I do believe and feel that Michael, like me was an old soul and I am hoping that he is guiding me to write the correct words or at least someone is helping me.
Lisa I have a lot of answers to everyone's assumptions but I have to try and write it down on paper so to speak.
I may just make points when I can think of them.
I just read this link as well
Michael was in a lot of pain from what I have read.
Michael was struggling to live in this 21st century.
He would do things that was out of the normal in this 21st century but was it was normal and ok in years gone past,
I mean like what he was accused of.
Think about it lisa or ask an older person in there day or in there grandparents or even great grandparents days did anything that Michael did, did that happen way back then.
You will find the answers if you think and look for it.
I will do what I can to find out and then write it down.
Lisa I will give you a link to read on Old Souls
Lisa as I re read the webpage it tells me again that Michael was an old soul
I feel really strong about this, please read it.
See if it helps you answer things about Michael as it helped me.
I believe it will help others know and understand Michael.
I will also try and write it down.
I have typed quite a lot for you to read for now so I will close this letter and I do hope you find something that I have written to help you and many others.
I will keep writing later on when I have rested as that is what I need to do for Michael right now.
Please take care
Hugssssssss
Heart Of Hush aka Lu
